Old Ares Had a Farm

Written by R.J. Stewart
Directed by Charles Seibert

In some ways, this episode revisits ground covered in other Ares episodes -- most notably, Ten Little Warlords and The Quill is Mightier. This episode also bears more resemblance to the situational comedy of the second season than the "slapstick stupidity" of later years. It is in many ways a return to the old style, and long-time Xenascribe R.J. Stewart takes us there with style.

The basic premise is simple. Word has gotten around that Ares is now mortal. A bounty has been placed on his head, and a band of warlords is looking to cash in. Xena takes action to protect the former God of War by "countrifying" him. What results is a relatively light-hearted tale that shows -- once again -- Ares is really an old softie underneath all the machismo.

The story wasn't flawless, but it was fun. There were several aspects of the script that had me scratching my head -- I'm sure there were several pieces of country-and-western pop culture that sailed miles over my head, and one or two of the relevant plot points didn't make a whole lot of sense taken in the greater context of the series (especially at this late stage of the game). It is these points I would like to address in my commentary.

First of all, what drove Xena to start that brawl in the bar? While I recognized the high degree of thugitude present, I failed to notice why Xena started beating them about the head and shoulders. The revelation that these goons were after Ares didn't come until after the fight, so that couldn't have been Xena's motivation. Has she taken a more proactive stance on crime fighting? She's cracking skulls simply because a bunch of professional lackeys are drinking in a tavern? It struck me as a little out of character -- it looked like Xena acted before being provoked.

Perhaps there just wasn't much action in the script, and they needed to get a certain amount of fisticuffs in.

Another oddity was how nonchalant the warriors seemed with Xena's presence. The Warrior Princess disappeared for twenty-five years, returned to kill off the Olympian gods, and then vanished off to Norseland for a year. All else being equal, didn't it seem a little strange that Gasgar wasn't awed by her mere presence? Sure, the warlord in question could have been around back in Xena's heyday (he looked old enough), but based on the reactions Xena and Gabrielle inspired in Legacy he struck me as awfully calm.

These issues aside, it was nice to see Xena solve a problem without a massive brawl. When Xena's initial ruse was uncovered, she and Gabrielle staged a cat fight to send the bounty hunters off in another direction. Aside from the initial skull-kicking (and a pinch or two) there was surprisingly little combat in an episode centered on a band of bloodthirsty warlords after Ares' head.

I personally feel the episode belonged to Ares. The character has changed quite a bit over the past five years. Watching him cope with mundane life instills in him a humanity that many fans felt was there for a long time -- a humanity that Xena (in her own way) inspired in the War God.

In addition to the enjoyment of watching Ares cope with mortality, we had the subplot of Xena journeying down memory lane, and a glimpse into the domestic life that she and Gabrielle could settle into -- if there weren't evil to fight on a daily basis. Our heroes have certainly learned to live in the moment, and enjoy a bit of pastoral solitude when they can find it.

The interplay between Ares and Gabrielle was also enjoyable. The banter they share (especially when Xena isn't around) was wonderful. I was especially fond of Ares' comment on Gabrielle's choice of stall tactic, "Maybe that says something about you." The two clearly have a love/hate relationship, and accept the fact that the other a part of Xena's life.

I have two favorite moments in this episode. The first was when Horace was running into the woods to escape his former owner, and Ares was quietly urging him on, a fearful (and partially heartbroken) expression on his face. It was a funny -- yet tender -- moment. The other moment was the encounter on the road with the young warrior Siki looking to make a name by taking out Ares. His demeanor reminded me a great deal of a young Joxer, trying to impress Xena in Callisto.

In the end, this was a very enjoyable hour of television. While there were some story details that don't make much sense to me in terms of the grander scope of events, R.J.'s script treats the characters with respect. It isn't the finest hour the show has produced, but it is far from being the worst. A worthy effort, and a gentle way to slide us into the final half of the final season. I give it a solid B.

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