A Visit from the Warrior Princess

(With apologies to Clement Moore)

'Twas the night before Solstice, and all throughout Greece
Not a critter was stirring, neither god, man, nor beast.
The chores were all finished, the village lay still,
And tomorrow we'd eat 'till we all became ill.

The folk of the village lay asleep in their cots,
While dreams of the next day's feast danced through their thoughts.
As for myself, well I just couldn't rest.
For of all days approaching, Solstice surely was best.
Then from out on the green there came such a riot
That I jumped from my bunk to see what broke the quiet.

I ran to the front door as quick as I could,
And threw it wide open to see what I would.
The light from Diana's sphere up in the sky
Allowed me to see what soon came riding by.
What I saw in the moonlight there put me afright,
For some bandits approached in the dark of the night!
At the head of the column, all decked out in his mail
Was their leader the fierce warlord Alax Kerthale!

As swift as a breaker approaching the shore
Came the riders, who numbered a dozen or more.
With a whoop and a yell and a fierce battle cry,
"Get up all you peons! It's time that you die!
We have ridden down here from the mountains above.
We will take what we want and destroy what you love!"

As the bandits approached at their terrible pace
I could feel resolve tighten the lines of my face.
Though it cost me my life, it was here I would stand,
I would sacrifice all to drive off this foul band!
I thought I was alone, for no other stood near,
But then over all came a voice loud and clear,
"Leave this people alone, for they've done you no wrong.
Or I'll send you to Hades -- which is where you belong!"

I looked around slowly, wondering who had just spoke,
But I couldn't see clearly through all of the smoke.
Then a breeze stirred the ashes, and there, to my surprise,
Stood a tall, dark haired woman with ice colored eyes.
At her side stood a blonde with a staff in her fist,
By the look on their faces I knew they were pissed.

Xena the Warrior Princess was here!
I knew in a moment we'd nothing to fear.
She would clobber these scum until all were dispatched
Even twenty to one they would not be outmatched.
And the bard at her side would dish out some lumps too
No foe could stand up to this thug-thumping crew.

And in moments the bandits were running away.
They knew they were beaten, but Kerthale wasn't fazed,
He raised his own weapon and a war cry he raised!
Xena turned towards the warlord and flashed a quick smile,
She hadn't had fun like this in quite a while!
With a slash and a cut and a spin and a kick
Xena dispatched the warlord incredibly quick.

She leaped to her horse, Gabrielle climbed behind
And they promised the rest of the band they would find.
As I heard Xena yell as the pair rode away,
"I hope all you village has a great Solstice day!"

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